My father passed away on April 6, 2021. I typed that out at a pretty slow pace in order to allow the words to possibly sink in.

In truth, I haven’t truly accepted it and I’ve just been going through the motions of living since the day of his sudden death.

This editorial isn’t constructed to be a sad one folks, but I know purging these thoughts out into written word will help me out in the long run.

We were very close. I could talk and philosophize with my silly father about anything.

In a frankful manner, he told me once I was going to end up in an internment camp with some of the s*%t that I’d say, because our conversations had a tendency to break the mold.

Reflecting on my father still hurts me to the core. So much so, I haven’t been back to Sonoma County since.

That’s a lie and I can be a bit dramatic. I’ve gone back twice.

Not to drive down Stony Point Road in Petaluma tho, or to cruise down to Sebastopol then head out and get lost somewhere in San Francisco.

I went back twice to get my head put back on straight, in a sense.

Life advice: get yourself a friend that will meet you at a run-down Denny’s in the middle of the night just to process the world and catch up on life.

It’s a wonderful thing and I’m extremely grateful for the few people out there that I can call my friends.

I had a friend in my father too, so that’s why processing him taking off on me has been a challenge.

I’ve jumped into a mode of retreat, of sorts, and I’m not sure if writing professionally is the best path for me.

As a “wordsmith” and an “artist,” writing for me is actually personal, and now I’ve put myself in a place where I’m writing all the time.

I’m writing, reflecting and processing thoughts in exchange for written word. It’s so vital for our species, but it actually takes a lot out of the person doing it – unless the content isn’t being processed beforehand.

You also have to process the notion that almost every- one out there wants their story heard and told, so there’s also the position of navigating your way to the truth.

I find myself navigating beautiful words too as I write, like honesty, integrity, authenticity and so on.

To conclude, I’ve been processing a lot this year, last year and most of last week. I was reminded of home as I made my way around the tiny town of Hornitos. The green hills and winding roads took me back to a place where I’m not really ready to go.

Down the road, I’m sure I’ll head back out there, but for now I’m at a bit of a crossroads.

To get super cheesy about it, I’m “purging” out a lot of the old, in order to make some room for what’s to come.

Note: This editorial was originally published in “The Mariposa Gazette” on 04-13-2023.